Thursday, December 18, 2014

Who knows

Today could bring some positive news on the adoption front.  Perhaps a door formally opened where one has most likely closed.

Some days it feels like my season of new babies is over and that who we are right now is who we will  be from here on in.  I am grateful for each and every one of my little and no longer little darlings.  They are most definitely enough.  It is hard to fight the feeling however that came on suddenly five and a half....yes FIVE AND A HALF years ago that someone was missing.  The month was April 2009 and I can tell you where I was in the house, who I spoke to at the agency and the conversation that I had as clear as yesterday when the feeling attached itself in my heart and brain more ferociously than is explainable.

We shall see what the conversation holds today.  It should be positive though likely not lead to any peace that the universe is not yanking my chain and their really is no one else coming.  Not knowing is the hardest part of adoption.  It's fine to have all ducks in a row regarding paperwork, profiles and approvals but you must be picked.  Someone has to like what they read about you enough to consider you an option to raise their child.  I've got strikes against me People.  For sure I do.  There are obstacles to overcome in regards to me and the family being a viable choice for someone.  There is a lot of us, I am single (for what it's worth my married friends say I'm better off ;)), and some might consider me aged.  For those birthing babies there is the biological clock that ticks. With adoption my window for having a baby is larger but there is also an adoption age clock and I believe mine to be going BONG BONG BONG!

Anywhoo wish me luck.  Wouldn't it just be the best if when I got there they actually had a possible situation I could be considered for?!  I know, right?

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