Thursday, April 23, 2015

t's almost Friday. It always seems that big things happen in my life on Fridays. As I lay my head down tonight as in every night my prayers will be for the baby, whoever they are to find me and for their birth family who will be faced with an unthinkable situation. It is not lost on me that my greatest joy comes from the heartache and devastation of another family. This makes it more my responsibility, honour and privilege to be the best I can be, committing my life to the life I hope to have entrusted to me

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

thank you

I wanted to thank all my friends looking out for me in so many ways but most recently in attempting to help our family grow. Yesterday I heard from a few of you about a precious baby boy in Illinois needing a family. You all recognized that he would be a perfect fit for us. I so love that not only did you think of us but you felt for this baby who needs more than anything a family to claim him, love on him, go to bat for him. Forever. You understand that he and all my kids are worthy of a forever family. The fact that you get it like I do solidifies our friendships even if some of those have 'only' been online. You also have heard me or have learned for yourselves that often times with adoption word of mouth is what makes the difference in families coming together. You get the frustration of the wait or feel it from me wink emoticon and the not knowing if a baby really is in your future.

So thank you again. Thank you to the friends that brought the baby boy to my attention and thank you to those of you who always have me in your thoughts when situations dictate. 
Should we be successful in adopting a new special someone and it is the result of your assistance just know that being my "baby daddy' comes with perks. I don't know what they are yet but they will be G.O.O.D.

Love to you all.
I will attach the link to baby boy in case any of you are able to apply to adopt him or know someone else who would be interested. As I am in Canada and he is in the US it makes it an international adoption and I am not approved in that regard.
Isn't he precious. Oh and just so you know if I was able to adopt him I so would have seen it as a meant to be sign that he was born on my birthday wink emoticon

We are currently searching for a family for Baby B. Learn more about him. If you are interested in becoming Baby B's forever family, please fill out a Pre Application in it's entirety. 

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

The King

Could he be more handsome?

Such a brave courageous man

He suffered devastating brain damage as an infant and lives a life of seizures, profound cognitive disability and being nonverbal.

He is however a man who knows what he likes and what he wants.

He knows how to have a good laugh.

He has changed and enriched my life from the second I met him when I was sixteen.

He has offered me extended family, an education and was my first step into growing my family.

To meet him you might not think he was the teacher extraodinaire that he is.

You might not think that his strength is born from his patience and tolerance.

Spend a day with him.

Be still.


Listen to the words he does not say.

Be in awe of his presence.

I know I am.

I have decided that while mothers are interacting with their teens they should either be wearing a GoPro or be outfitted with the vest cams the police are talking about. These would serve the purpose of sanity maintenance when the teen goes off claiming you did or said something that you did not and also would allow visual and audio proof of their words, actions or lack thereof. It would make my new phrase of "Replay the video!" a lot more effective during conflict.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Tuesday's musings

-never shop at Costco hungry
- frequently checked for voice messages, emails, texts, tweets and Facebook generally leads to disappointment 
- taking part in son's weekly swim class now allows me to say I "swim" once a week making me sound almost athletic though in reality makes me a liar
- I am a star at push-ups front and the water
- Wearing grey matches the colour of my hair as I wait for the long overdue hair appointment

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Dear Hurting Parents

Dear Hurting Parents

If you are reading my letter it is because your road to parenthood has ended in tears of heartache instead of the ones of joy you expected.  The baby you planned who would grow and develop like most do is not who was born to you.  You might be feeling confused, sad and angry.  If you have this letter it is because you are thinking that you are not up for raising your child who has come with a diagnosis and many challenges.  You might be feeling enormous guilt over these feelings and might also be wondering if not you who would want to step in to raise them.  What kind of person wants to adopt a child who will not be as other children are?

I am that person.  My wish has always been to adopt children born with disabling conditions.  I knew from the time I was a child and devoured any reading material I could find about children with disabilities that this was the life for me.  We all have skills and talents.  We have our own strengths and weaknesses.  None of these make us better than anyone just different.

For me a child with special needs is no different than a child without.  This is not to say I am blind to what it is before me but that every child requires love, encouragement, time, education, attention and a lifetime cheerleader.  For the child with disabilities the need for these multiplies it's true but with the mindset that it is all for the greater good makes it all worthwhile.  I  am not coming into raising a child with challenges from a place of grief.  In adopting a child with a diagnosis and/or prognosis I am getting the child I begged the universe for, whom I believe I have the love, skills and commitment to raise.  If between a combination of my efforts and the child's inborn determination development occurs far past predicted outcomes then fantastic but if for whatever reason the child does not develop beyond their first day of infancy then that is acceptable to me as well.

I believe that every child has a right to a family who not only thinks the sun rises and sets on their shiny little heads but who is dedicated to providing them with a lifetime of experiences surrounded by people who love them.  Every person born has the opportunity to make a huge difference in the world, to leave a mark in some way.  Children with disabilities are no different no matter their diagnosis.  They have been given life and survived and for some against all odds.  It is my job, privilege really as their mother to ensure that they are able to live it to the fullest.

Raising children with disabilities requires a day to day commitment and is one not suited for everyone.  Accommodations have to made and there can be daily duties that shall we say are far from glamourous but it is the life I have chosen and that gives me great joy.  We all make different life choices and ones choices do not make any one person better than the other or worth more admiration.  They are just different.  We are given but one life to live and at the end it is to be hoped that we are able to look back at the decisions we have made and know that we made the best possible choices.

Should you decide that raising a child with a disability is not something you feel able to do no matter what your reasoning it is my wish for you that you are able to find peace in your decision.  Should I be the one you choose to raise your child I hope that you would find comfort in the knowledge that your child would be cherished beyond measure, forever carry my heart in their hand and would be offered every opportunity to be all that they were meant to be.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Facts of the day

Learned and newly affirmed facts of the day...

-if I had to tread water for over two minutes to save my life....I would drown (who am I kidding....I would probably die in under two)

-there is such a thing as a bathing suit spinner. Who knew such a handy dandy little thing existed?!

-just because you have a whole basket of onion rings does not mean you should eat a whole basket of onion rings
- if you try and get a sports bra on after swimming you may strangle yourself, get it firmly stuck at armpit level and/or put your neck out trying to rectify such

-winter and spring happen in the same day

-thinking you can control the universe in making the phone ring does not work

-not everyone likes you, or who liked you before will continue to like you and if you are considered disposable after years of friendship after so much was shared then it is time to move on

-games are to be played for fun and are not meant to be used on people's emotions.

-I don't like games be they table top, sporting etc

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Happy Easter from some of us to ALL of you!

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Travelling Teens

Wednesday was a big day at our house.  The teens were leaving on a school trip to Amsterdam!  You should all be very proud of me for letting them go.

Goodbyes are so hard at least when you're saying them to the cats.  There were no tears to leave me but perhaps stifled sobs for the felines.

The little prince is still on spring break so he go to see the girls off at the airport.  I think he and I might have gotten some travel fever.  I started thinking it might be time to plan a big trip somewhere. The consensus would be to go back to Disneyland.  Oy vey!

This is the music instructor extraordinaire.  The school has a spectacular music program whether it be band or choir and there are very few competitions he has entered the kids in that they haven't won.

Look at them!  Aren't they the most gorgeous, grown up girls?!

All the students were beyond excited.  There wasn't an overwhelming number of parents that stayed at the airport and I think mine probably would have been fine if I slowed the bus down long enough for them to toss their bags out and jump.

Mr. Principal and his wife (not shown) are also on the trip.  Though touring is commonplace for the music students and missions program the school so say has not travelled this far with this number of students before.  

Checking bags

This fellow commands attention.  One shrill whistle through his fingers and he has everyone's ear.  This is a finely tuned trip and the kids were all beyond well mannered and followed all instructions as directed.  If and when I do decide to pack us all up and get on a plane I'm thinking I need some of these folks to travel with.

Security.  This is where I got my last hugs and kisses.  The girls were glad to be rid of me at this point.  The flight was not to leave until close to three and it was at this time only about 11:30.  The plan was to grab lunch and hang out until boarding time.  They would fly for ten hours, have a FIVE HOUR layover in Germany and then have a one hour flight to Amsterdam.  After landing they would take a cruise on a river canal then head to the hotel for supper, relaxation and bed.
They will all be exhausted with the jet lag and jam packed schedule but what an experience of a lifetime!  I am so grateful to the school for this opportunity for my girls.