Happy Birthday!

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January 25.  Ailish Angelia Wheatley's birthday.  This is her second in Heaven.  We made cupcakes.  We had balloons.  We sang Happy Birthday much to our little friend Gabe's confusion knowing that Ailish was no longer here.

We celebrate the date because it was the day Ailish was born.  We grieve because we don't have her to hold.

The second year I have to say is not much better than the first though the mental videos are not on repeat all day but just parts of each day.  January has been tough where Ailish's pictures and the memories they bring also come with a giant hit to the gut.  I haven't had the gutteral reaction for a while but it is back full force and I imagine it will stay at least until the March 18 anniversary date.  This year we don't have Disneyland to run to though if I had the disposable income for us to head there again I would do so in a heartbeat.  Planning a trip for thirteen to fifteen people, the majority of whom have special needs to consider making transportation and accomodation that much more exciting and to do so in a months time I'm sure would be no problem for a seasoned travel agent....

Happy Birthday Ailish Angelia my forever eleven year old girl!  Missing you today and always.