Tuesday, January 14, 2014

adoption update

Here we are mid January, two months past the point at which I discovered the photo listing of the five month old available for adoption in my relative area.  Two months.  Baby is two months older and where are we in my quest to adopt her?

As a recap you might remember that before Christmas I was informed that the foster family had not formally been asked as to whether they wanted to be an adoptive resource for the baby.  WHAT?!!!  I know right?!  Not to repeat myself as I am apt to do BUT why profile a baby for adoption if you don't know you have a baby to adopt out?!  The answer I was given....to be proactive in case foster family did not want to adopt....  Great concept except.....  what a chain yanker!

In gathering all facts that I have been told....
-foster family is highly respected
-foster family is known to adopt the kids with special needs that come into their home
-everything points to YES they will adopt the baby

Again...unfair chain yanking.

Just so I am not misunderstood....and I know I repeat myself when I say this....if the foster family wants to adopt then YAY for baby!  I support that!  No moves for baby and she has landed exactly where she is supposed to be.  What I don't support is what looks like a bureaucratic manipulation of hopeful adoptive parents before all t's are crossed and i's dotted.  It is a shaking of the tree to see what falls out and you know for sure this nut over here did!

I have mostly, I say mostly giving a bit of room for hope resigned myself to this baby not being meant to be ours.  The powers that be will meet with the foster parents tomorrow to get the final word and then I will officially be informed hopefully tomorrow as well.  To be clear if the foster parents choose not to move forward with adoption that does NOT automatically mean that I would be matched with the baby.  It would just mean I am in the running which is always a good place to be.

In the end what is important is the best interests of the baby.  That is what we must always keep in the forefront of any decision making and we have to trust in some cosmic sense that everything works out the way it is supposed to.


Dean Glover said...

How unfair for the babies to be put in the middle of those chain-yanking and manipulations, when there are many hopeful parents who are more than willing to adopt regardless of their profile. I know that the bureaucratic procedure is a necessity and ought to give importance to baby’s interest, but I hope it didn’t leave hopeful parents like you hanging for a long time, just because of the uncertainty if the foster family will adopt the baby or not.

Dean Glover @ Adoption Network

Tricia wheatley said...

In the end it was less the foster family and more the social workers. The family will adopt her and because she has been there the majority of her life and they are an excellent home from all accounts the right decision is to leave baby there. The provincial program is very difficult to adopt from due to the bureaucracy that surrounds each child.