Saturday, June 1, 2013

I blame the school

picture has nothing to do with this post but I like it

"You should exercise Mommy" says the "helpful' six year old.

"Oh I should, should I?  And what makes you say that?" I query.

"You should do bending and stretching.  You never do that ever" she says ever so innocently.

As I realize the child is not making a personal attack on my fitness level nor my abundance of loose flesh I do not tear into her by saying things like

1. "are you kidding me?!  Do you not realize how much bending and stretching I do in a day, picking up yours and everyone else's crap off the floor, balloons off the ceiling, scraping 'stuff' off of very high places on a wall that 'stuff' should never be on?!"  or

2. "take an hour in my shoes Sista and see the bending and lifting I do!  Next time you bend and lift a fifty odd pound wheelchair and chuck it arm pit height into the back of the bus!  You pick a ninety pound noncompliant child off the ground and 'encourage' said child to head in the direction away from the cracker drawer that will lead me to more bending and stretching to clean up the godforsaken fish crackers!" or

3.  "Exercise you say?!  Do you know how much power walking, bending and stretching it takes to make my way through Costco and any of the other three grocery stores I frequent on a weekly basis to get my shopping done in ONE hour so that I am not pulling a cart and pushing any number of your siblings who don't want to be there?!  Let me tell you Little Lady no one can clear a shelf filling a cart faster than yours truly ensuring that your bellies are all full of whatever the desired food of the week is!" or

4. "Do you know how quick on my feet I need to be to dash from a sitting position to the table to clear all projectiles from the path of a seizuring sister?!   You do because you have seen it and have also seen me lift said 100 pound seizuring sister in full clonus to a place of safety.

I say none of these things because the child had no ill intent and was likely repeating what she heard at school as to the importance of bending and stretching in a fitness regime.

No, I will not take it out on her.  I will however take it out on the school.

Makes sense to me....

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