Monday, March 26, 2012

Where were you this day one year ago?

What were you doing one year ago today?  I know what I was doing...

March 26, 2011 was the date of Ailish's funeral, celebration of life, going home ceremony or whatever you want to call it but in the end it would be the last time we would see Ailish in the flesh or at least some semblance of Ailish.  I say that because who we saw was not even recognizable as our girl.  Her face was very swollen and distorted.  As they had a picture of Ailish they really should have told me so that I could have made a decision regarding the viewing.  In the end I had the casket closed.  Hugely disappointing.  The explanation I was given was that due to the resuscitation attempts loads of fluid were put into her etc and that perhaps that was the reason.  All I know was I saw her two days after she passed and she looked exactly the same as when she left me and after the funeral home got hold of her and did what they do she became unrecognizable.  I had been on the fence about what to do with Ailish's body.  I originally decided on cremation but as the time got closer I wavered.  I was so torn.  After seeing Ailish at the viewing I was firm in my decision.  I no longer was tied to her physical self and could release her.  In the end I guess it was a blessing though disguised in trauma.

I won't go into all the details but the day though difficult was brightened by the friends and family that came to honour Ailish and support us as a family.  Friends had gone to a spectacular amount of effort organizing the reception with tons of great food and a room that was accessorized with memories of Ailish.  Wonderful words were spoken during the service that both touched and warmed my heart.  Beautiful music arranged and performed by equally beautiful sister friends added so much to the service as difficult as it was to do for them.

I am forever grateful for all of those in physical attendance along with the warm wishes from nations abroad.  It is a small world.  The second saddest day of my life was made bearable by the overwhelming feelings of love that permeated the room.


Gail said...

Would not have been anywhere else. Thinking of all of you today.

The Kings said...

The flowers look so amazing and from what I can see she looked like a princess and angel rolled into one. Hard photos to look at, but I'm glad you have them. xxx